For the past couple of weeks, I havn't really felt like myself... I just felt off and a little bit weird (even for me). When I tried being myself and wanting to say things. I just couldn't.. Something stopped me everytime. It really started to bug me, because I knew, that wasn't me. I had this meeting a couple of weeks ago and I just felt so off! I couldn't get my words out right. Normally I'm this very bubbly, aaand a little weird person. But that day I was like... Not myself at all! When I looked through some old and new videoes from the past couple of weeks, I did not seem like myself. There was no personality, no nothing which would ever indicate, the person in the videoes was me. My whole personality just went missing. There was this big fog of an negative energy over me and it wouldn't let go. Like someone send me this, because of god knows what. I knew I needed to fix this! So I rolled my curtains down, to get my place as dark as possible. Instead of having a comeplete meltdown, I had to fight that energy off. It's kinda gross, but you know when you pop pimples? How that yellowy stuff comes out, which is infection basically. It looks so gross, but feels amazing! You all know what I'm talking about, so don't act weird! But it was just like that. I had popped the pimple of infection from an evil eye, and it all dissapeared! there was just a not so nice headache for a couple of days afterwards. Because of my history with mental illness and ED, I know whenever I'm feeling not like myself, it's something I need to fix! It was then I realized, I didn't really eat a lot for those days. Sometimes I would be really hungry, but I just didn't put any food nor fuel in my body. Again because I know the signs of this and how to fix it. For some people it might sound very serious, but to me it's like knowing the symptoms of getting the flu. I can see things happen and act fast to fix it afterwards. But in the picture on this blogpost, you see a very young and very sick 16 year old me. I was on a cross country skiing trip with school. I never want to look or feel like that EVER AGAIN! As I released the cloud of negative energy and 'popped the pimple' I felt the energy dissapear and the old, bubbly person came back. The evil eye was gone and instead of treating it with anger, I treated it with love to myself. I am the most important person for myself. I am sorry for who ever felt like it was okay to send that to me, because it's not! But I send you laughter and love instead of anger and hate. It looks like you could need it.. Bye bye to negative energy. To whomever send the evil eye to me. I send love and care, since you clearly need it. Take care both of you and the people around you.
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AuthorA 30 year old woman, who loves the smells of horses. A life without horses, is no life at all Archives
May 2024
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